SUPER FUN 100 POST EXTRAVAGANZA DANGEROUS

Here we are, readers. What a journey.

What a journey.

This is my one hundredth post on this blog. The number is puffed up a bit by my having posted multiple chapters of stories in a row, but technicalities are the golden horses that Jesus rides to the state fair (?) so let's goddamn celebrate.

If you recall, I originally intended this blog to be a repository for stories (reposistory?) and suchwhat but I got bored of that and started talking about things. Given my reluctance to post anything particularly intimate about who I am and what I'm thinking it's probably rather a substandard blog in terms of pure content, which I endeavor to reconcile by writing even the most simple phrases with a flair that puts the brightest lights of Vegas to shame.

Let's take a tour, shall we, of the past several months of blogging, because nothing celebrates the narcissism inherent to blogging more than a list of the things I've done that I liked the most.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER...

1.) Philling In The Blanks

This is a post I made pretty early on where I decided to give as factual and all-encompassing an assessment of myself as a person as could be managed. It's startlingly honest and revealing which makes me cringe while reading it. It's also a fantastic example of talking about oneself without really talking about oneself.

2.) Are You Trying To Phil Me?

If this isn't the best damn thing I have ever written, then I don't know what's real anymore. I hate loving this story as much as I do because it makes me feel self-centered but I could not be more proud of it.

3.) Epic Phil LOLZ

I still can't fucking believe this happened to me.

4.) Smooth Creamy Philling (Yeah I used Philling twice bite me)

I'm absolutely certain it's just me but I love this post dearly.

5.) Philluminating (Or, I Ran Out Of Posts I Liked)

I had completely forgotten about this poem until I was looking through my posts and saw it.


There you have it, readers, my five highlights. I am quite sure you have enjoyed every moment of your reading this blog, and it is my sincerest hope that you shall continue to do so.

I had hoped to make this rather a grander affair, but I am on holiday, and this seems like it will do.

Being on holiday is like being on vacation but classier.

See you in two weeks, school-readers.

Fast Limes at Bridgemont Die

Hello, readers. It's been a while, hasn't it? I apologize for leaving you all without my shining presence for so long, but as some of you are aware the deep abysmal misery (abysery?) that has gripped me all summer has only gotten worse, to the point where I am but a gnarled spectre of the man I once was, my trademark kindness, patience and understanding all long gone. It has been said on more than one occasion lately that I'm more quiet than usual (the amount of quiet I usually am being "a lot"), which is largely because I am finding myself closer and closer to exploding on people rather than ignoring their faults or making excuses for them, as I am wont to do.

But there is a shining beacon in the terrible darkness that surrounds me, and it is this:

I am going to California.

Those of you who have known me for some time (I.E. no one that reads this blog) are quite aware of the symbolic and spiritual significance California has for me, and would easily say that it is the second most desired vacation I could ask for (guess #1 and I'll buy you a coke).

And now it's happening. I'm going to visit my BFF Steve, who moved out there earlier in the summer, and I am quite sure I could not be more excited. Now, more than ever, during the Almost Worst Summer Ever, I absolutely need a break, physically and mentally, and there is no place I think I would rather spend it at this moment.

Today I smiled, readers. And not just because of Harry Potter (which I have been reading for the first time over the past few weeks, and in my embarrassing and incredibly delayed fervor have been consuming at a disgusting pace, such that I had to go out and buy all the movies to keep the high going before I finish book 6 and refuse to continue until the next two movies come out, so I can watch them without thinking about what's missing), which has been damn near the only thing I've cared about the past couple of weeks, but because for the first time in a long while I had hope. Something to look forward to that wasn't another world, entertainment. Something real and tangible.

Also there's a Sonic down the street from Steve's house and there is no goddamn thing I want more than to go to a fucking Sonic.

Did you know this is post number ninety nine of The Immaculate Chronicles? Following the normal arithmetic scale, post number one hundred shall be next. Stay tuned for a Philstravaganza as I celebrate your favorite blog about your favorite person.

This is what I've been doing lately:

davidlinc1: sup
Suppai no Iruka: I went to get Harry Potter
Suppai no Iruka: But all the Harry Potter books was gone
Suppai no Iruka: I looked around, frightened
Suppai no Iruka: I began to urinate furiously as tears erupted from my face, which had whorled into something inhuman, reeling with obscene terror and sadness
Suppai no Iruka: I stumbled around in a daze, vomit trickling from my mouth as I attempted not to perish on the spot
Suppai no Iruka: Anyway I found them they moved them to some big display
Suppai no Iruka: I got books 1 and 5
davidlinc1: L
davidlinc1: O
davidlinc1: L