P.A.Q. Volume 1

P.A.Q. Volume 1

What is P.A.Q., you may ask?

OBVIOUSLY it means Philquently Asked Questions. There's a lot of things that I get asked ALL THE TIME and I usually don't get a chance to answer them completely because A.) I don't think to or B.) The full answer isn't that interesting.

So here, for the people who are probably least likely to ask me these things because they already know me, is the P.A.Q.

This project will probably make me look vain as hell, I know the average person doesn't want to hear about my hair or social life, but then again I keep getting asked about them so here we are.

The two most common questions first:

Q: LIKE OMG IS YOUR HAIR REAL?!

A: For the love of god YES. This is an incredibly quick and efficient way to make me become very self-conscious on the spot. Who wants to be asked this? And what 22 year old Greek male is gonna wear a got dang weave? Seriously.

Q: LIKE OMG DOES YOUR HAIR JUST DO THAT?!

A: Okay this question seems the same but is a thousand times less offensive. Here's the skinny:

My hair is naturally this curly. It is also naturally dry as all HELL and if I don't put anything in it it becomes a frizzy, tangled mess. My hair may seem fantastic but it's actually really, really horrible. It is almost impossible to deal with and frankly I think about cutting it all off several times a day. I can't go outside my house without a shower because when I sleep it gets all messed the hell up, and not in that charming bedhead way you straight-hairs get.

Older women tell me all the time they wish they had my hair but goddamnit I'm a guy I don't want to spend my whole life trying to tame this thing. It may seem glamorous and awesome on its good days but it is, for the most part, more trouble than it's worth.

But for those who are interested, this is what I do. A lot of it may seem weird but is based on a routine developed for curly hair. I cannot tell you how much things like abandoning shampoo and not using a towel on my head have made my hair look better:

1.) Shower, only use conditioner, shampoo maybe once every few weeks or if my scalp is feeling dry.
2.) Wring hair out and blot hair with a t-shirt (it sounds lame as hell but towels destroy curly hair)
3.) Re-wet hair a little because parts of it are literally completely dry coming out of the shower
4.) Rake through some sort of cream or gel

"Some sort" can be anything. Most products I think are awesome stop working well after a while, I have yet to find anything I really, reallllly like. Generally my hair responds to thick cream-products (gay joke goes here) best.

5.) Most products make hair hard as they dry, so a couple of hours later I have to scrunch it which makes it look like it's supposed to (this is kind of a universal curly thing, lots of people claim to have ways to stop it but I've yet to find anything that worked while actually keeping my hair from frizzing out uncontrollably)


This is, perhaps, the gayest post anyone has ever made. It works out well that it's almost exclusively jealous women who ask me because I can go into detail with them that I wouldn't with dudes, probably. It seems like way more than it is: I probably only spend a few minutes actually styling my hair.

And the fact is, I get asked about it all the damn time. To be perfectly honest there are days when I think my hair rocks but most of the time I can't begin to understand why people bring it up so often.

Anyway, I wish I had straight hair. People get offended when I say this like I'm throwing away some gift, but as I said earlier it's more trouble than it's worth and I would kill for hair I didn't have to fight with.


There, don't you already know more about me than you ever wanted? The P.A.Q. will undoubtedly be my undoing.

NEXT VOLUME: school and social life