Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Does this lifestyle make me look fat?

It may not be, readers, a monumental surprise, but I have at times a proclivity for television shows that that are, perhaps, what one might call feminine in nature.

I mean, I could explain with absolute certainty why What Not to Wear totally isn't gay to watch, but that's not the point.

The point is that today I had a debilitating headache and no hot water when I awoke, which meant I would not step foot outside my apartment. I have been watching TV all day, and I have always had a critical eye for advertisements. I have a good sense of what an ad is doing, who it's targeting, and why. I am, for the most part, immune to their black magic.

But I have to say, having just happened by chance to watch girl-oriented shows today. People have been telling me in twenty different ways that I need to lose weight so I can fit into my skinny jeans, I've been warned to death about yeast infections and bad skin, I've been assaulted with advertisements for shows and movies where people more attractive than me find true love and goddamn it I know it's a natural medical thing but yeast infection commercials are gross okay.

Ladies, you have it rough. Guy commercials treat us like one-dimensional idiots but girl commercials try to make you feel inadequate in every way.

Anyway, I'm off to drown my sorrows in a bag of chips.

And then cook a steak and attempt to pick up the pieces of my shattered masculinity.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

aww thanks for taking a day off to feel our pain