Twix PB Is The Best Candy Ever Made

Twix PB is the Best Candy Ever Made
an essay by Phil


Twix PB is the best candy ever made. While candy can normally only be judged according to individual taste and biological diversity makes comparing them on any real concrete basis impossible, it is actually Twix PB that is unequivocally the best candy ever made.

Twix PB is like regular Twix except there's peanut butter instead of caramel and a chocolate cookie instead of a non-chocolate cookie. Twix is an okay candy but the PB version is basically the candy equivalent of the Garden of Eden. In fact I would not be surprised if there were goddamn Twix PB growing on the tree of life, in which case Adam and Eve can't really be blamed because Twix PB is the best candy ever made.

There is actually another candy that I used to believe was the best candy ever made. It was Reverse Reese's, which were like regular Reese's but with peanut butter on the outside and chocolate on the inside. They would only release them at Halloween and I had what might be called an "issue" with eating way too many all the time.

Did you know that Twix PB can be enjoyed in a variety of locations and events?

Twix PB are perfect for:
A picnic
A ballgame
The beach
On a boat
In your house
In another person's house
At school
During your break
During when you should be working
In space
At a funeral
In a cave
In a fire
On a plane
On a train
On clean clothes
Or on a stain
In the ocean
In a park
In an anthill
Riding a shark
In the womb
During Memorial Day
In a seedy motel
In a five star hotel
During a trial
At a Miley Cyrus concert
Four hundred thousand years in the past
At the bank
The battle of Pelenor field
Stealing a flatscreen TV
Programming an artificial intelligence
Bungee jumping off of Mt. Fuji
Drinking a soda
In Mexico
In the center of the Earth
During a domino competition
And wherever fun times are had!

In conclusion, Twix PB is the best candy ever made.