...is that I can't bum things off people. This is going to sound sarcastic and crazy but just hear me out.
Now, allow me to elaborate. I do not smoke cigarettes.
Okay, now that we have all that scientific jargon out of the way, I'll explain further. I don't regret not smoking them at all really, but cigarettes are the only thing you can bum off of people and it actually makes you look cool and edgy.
EXAMPLE:
A: "Hey, can I bum a smoke?"
B: "Absolutely. Furthermore, let me publicly commend you on your in-my-face attitude and smooth, aloof disposition. I hold you in the highest respect, sirrah, so take this cigarette, with my compliments."
Please note that B's speech was mostly a vocal indication of what the average person would think.
Let's see what happens when subject P tries to bum something from subject C:
P: "Hey man could I bum an xbox game?"
C: "Get the hell out of my house."
See? The word bum looks really stupid if you're not asking to do it to a cigarette. I don't particularly want to smoke ever, but the part of me that loves using phrases regrets that I'll never be able to use that one.
But a man can dream...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
bummin ciggs is pretty awesome, but that is party due to the unity among smokers. we're gettin taxed to hell. we gotta watch out for each other.
How do you come up with these nuggets of pure gold, Phil?
I'm too proud to bum cigarettes unless they're from my friends. In which case I just take the pack from them without asking.
That's how REAL bums do it.
Cigarette-bumming was how I made friends in college.
Also for it I'm going to have cancer, but...
There's lots of truth (and hilarity) in that one.
Post a Comment